


Reality Bites

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-21
Updated: 2008-07-21
Packaged: 2019-05-30 09:49:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15094238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: PostTomorrow, Donna becomes all about the job, putting her relationship with Josh under pressure. He has found balance in his life but Donna struggles as she works to prove herself as Helen Santos' CoS.





	1. Reality Bites Ch 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Reality Bites

Timeline: The New Year before “Tomorrow” and into the Santos administration

A/N: I was bothered by the fact that in the final episodes the happiest Donna seemed was when she saw her office. I began to wonder what would happen if Donna became all about the job ….This will be quite angsty but you’ll need to trust me…

 

Feedback: Yes please, it’s as good as chocolate!

Disclaimers: Characters etc belong to Sorkin and Wells, but we're  
looking after them really, really well!

 

Chapter 1

“Come with me.” 

“What? Where?” Josh looked up, slightly confused.

“Come with me.”

“Sam, I may have known you for a long time but I can’t read your mind. What the hell are you talking?”

“Come with me to California.”

“Sam, I came and got * you * to come to DC. Why would I go with you to California?”

“Focus, Josh. I need a few extra days to pack up my house and finalise some business. I’ve arranged to take a few extra days vacation with the upcoming New Years long weekend. 4 days should give me plenty of time to take care of things. Why don’t you come with me?”

“Um, I’m not sure. It’s New Year and I…”

Sam smiled. “Donna’s invited too.

“Oh well then, sure. I mean, I’d better check with her first but it sounds great. What?” He looked into Sam’s laughing face. “She * so * has you wrapped around her little finger.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way my friend.”

 

Even though Josh and Donna had only recently had a week’s vacation, there was no problem with them taking an extra day’s vacation at New Year, especially as they had both stayed in DC for Christmas. The thought of 4 days of summer in January was just too tempting to pass up. So before they knew it, the three of them were winging their way across the country arriving around noon to be met by Sam’s fiancée Tina. She had been out to DC for a brief visit but Sam was looking forward to having the opportunity for his best friends and fiancée to get to know each other better in an environment where Tina felt at home.

The car quickly sped towards the coast where Sam owned a beautiful old craftsmen house, right on the beach in Santa Monica. It had 3 bedrooms, hardwood floors and a well equipped kitchen. Sam couldn’t wait to show it off. And, to be honest, he wanted to impress upon Josh just what he was giving up to return to Washington. Of course, he wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t believe in what he was doing but there was no denying he was leaving behind a certain lifestyle he’d come to enjoy.

“Make yourself at home,” he told his friends. “Maybe rest for awhile and then we’ll go out for dinner tonight. How does that sound? Tina and I’ve got some people to see today so we’ll be leaving you on your own”

“Sounds good to us Sam”, said Josh. “A “rest” is just what we need”. Donna blushed at Josh’s innuendo and Sam smiled. He was still unaccustomed to seeing them together but he was really happy for them. They’d wasted so many years separated by a sense of duty and ethics that saw them relegate their personal lives to the background and focus on their jobs and ability to work well together. Sam had heard, via the grapevine, how unhappy they both were once they’d left the White House and moved in different directions. He was thrilled they’d found their way back to each other, committed to balancing their personal and professional lives.

Josh and Donna spent the rest of the day relaxing. They found a seafood restaurant and had lunch outdoors enjoying the weather and the view. They wandered along the beach, chasing each other through the waves and returned to the house arm in arm. The sea air and sunshine had made them both sleepy so they enjoyed the luxury of an afternoon nap, curled up in each other’s arms on the couch. That’s how Sam and Tina found them several hours later.

Sam regarded his friend carefully and was amazed at the difference in Josh’s appearance. He looked years younger, almost as he had in the early days of their time in the White House.

“Look at that. Josh sleeps. There have been times when I wondered,” Sam said jokingly.

“Shh, you’ll wake them”, Tina said.

“We’re awake,” Donna mumbled.

“Are you sure?” said Josh, his head buried in Donna’s shoulder. “And Sam, just for your information, I’d have slept more in the past if I had had this angel to go home to every night, so I guess you can thank Donna for me being so well rested these days.”

“Rested? I thought I wore you out,” Donna teased.

“You do, my love, you do,” Josh responded suggestively.

“OK, enough, that’s too much information. If I hear any comments about the Earth moving, I’m going to puke. This is California. I’ve heard ‘em all. Let’s go out for dinner and make plans for the rest of the weekend.” And the two couples did just that, enjoying the ambience of a relaxed Italian restaurant. They laughed and reminisced and caught up on aspects of each others lives that had missed out on over the past few years.

The next day, New Years Eve, was spent sailing on Sam’s boat. Donna and Tina lay on deck, in their swimsuits, lathered in SPF 30 but determined to get a little colour. The men enjoyed the view (not just the one on deck!) and discussed politics, sport and the changes in their lives. After their day on the water they all felt too lethargic to do anything too active for New Years Eve so they stayed at Sam’s having a BBQ and watching the local fireworks. New Years Day was a bit cooler so Sam took them to see the Rose Bowl Parade to experience some local atmosphere. By Tuesday, Sam had to go pack up his office. Donna and Tina went shopping and Josh decided to do a little sightseeing before meeting the ladies for a late lunch.

Before they knew it, it was time to go to the airport for their early evening flight home. It had been a relaxing few days, a welcome final break before the frantic pace of life in the White House engulfed them. After take off the cabin lights dimmed. Donna was already asleep, her head on Josh’s shoulder as he absent-mindedly stroked her hair. He looked up and caught Sam’s eye and Sam’s mind drifted back to the night before…

“Donna, what are you doing?’

“I’m sorry Sam, did I wake you? I couldn’t sleep. Afternoon naps and different time zones will do that to you so I thought I’d catch up on some reading”.

“You didn’t wake me. But what are you reading? That doesn’t look like a trashy holiday read, that looks like work”.

“Um, yeah, I guess I brought a few files with me. Don’t tell Josh. He really wanted this to be a work free weekend. God knows when we’ll get another one”.

“That’s a depressing thought, by the way. Try to keep that one from Tina, would you! But what is so urgent, you couldn’t leave it in DC?”

“Sam, you know the role of the First Lady. Think about what some of them achieved: Lady Bird Johnston and her support of civil rights, Eleanor Roosevelt who spoke out for working women, the poor, migrants and traveled the globe, Mamie Eisenhower who epitomized the role of hostess. Helen Santos has no idea what type of First Lady she wants to be. I have to help her with that. Me. I do.” Sam could hear the panic rising in her voice. “Just over a year ago I was Senior Assistant to the Deputy Chief of Staff, now I’m Chief of Staff to FLOTUS”.

“Donna, you’ll be fine. Great, in fact. Have you talked about this with Josh?”

“Yeah”, Donna sighed. “But he has such absolute faith in me, he’s not exactly impartial. He thinks I can do just about anything”.

“I, for one, happen to think he’s right.”

“Yes, but Sam, if something goes wrong * I’ll * be the one they blame. I can’t hide behind anyone. I can just hear it now “Well of course she failed. Poor thing, out of her depth. But what could you expect? No college degree, only an assistant a year ago, not qualified for the job etc.” Donna’s voice trailed off.

“Donna, you practically ran Josh’s office for years. You know all the people you need to know and have gained more real life and valuable experience than a college graduate. Don’t let it get you down.”

“I have to get this right Sam, I have to”. I’ve got to prove to people that I can do this.”

“Well you don’t have to prove it to me or Josh or Mrs Santos for that matter. She wouldn’t have offered you the job if she didn’t think you could do it.”

“Thanks Sam. Thanks for the pep talk. Go back to bed.”

“Are you going back to bed? Josh will come looking for you soon.”

“Hmm, soon,” she replied, not really listening. She was focused on her reading.

Sam didn’t know what it was but there was something about Donna’s words that night that disturbed him…

TBC


	2. Ch 2

Timeline: “Tomorrow” and The Santos administration

A/N: Nothing angsty in this chapter! I’m setting the scene.

A/N: You’ll recognise aspects of this chapter. Credit goes to others!

Rating: G 

Feedback: Yes please!!!

Disclaimers: Characters etc belong to Sorkin and Wells, but we're  
looking after them really, really well!

 

It’s here. There’s nothing left to do. And yet there is everything to do. Inauguration Day. The enormity of what lay ahead was sending Josh’s brain into overdrive. He’d woken before the alarm, lying in bed and mentally freaking out over the significance of this day. It was in the quiet darkness of early morning that his sense of self-doubt raised it’s ugly head. He turned to see the clock – 6:02. Who would ever have thought he would still be in bed at this time? Things had certainly changed. Then he felt Donna’s hand caress his shoulder. She’d done it again – her mere presence calmed him down and centred him. She’s been good at that for more years than he cared to think about. He turned back to her and their eyes locked. This is what he wanted and needed. Donna had moved into his townhouse not long after they returned from Hawaii and life was good. There was only one word to describe his mood – content. At the risk of sounding Neanderthal and he’d never say it aloud – he had his man in the White House and his woman in his bed! All was right in his world.

He loved the familiar routines they’d quickly established. It was all so domestic. This sort of life would once have sent Josh running for the hills. But he embraced it. It was no wonder really that it was all so comfortable. They’d been a couple in all ways but one for years. Donna would shower while Josh would shave, she would blow dry her hair while he showered. They flawlessly moved around the small space moving, as they had always done, as though their steps were choreographed. Most mornings they breakfasted together, again moving seamlessly around the kitchen. Donna had the responsibility of programming the coffee maker (he was hopeless at it) and Josh poured the cereal. Donna’s influence saw a variety of fresh fruit on the breakfast table. They shared the paper, kept an eye on CNN, argued over what to prepare for dinner that night and familiarised themselves with the major points of each other’s schedule for that day. More often than not they travelled to the Transition offices together. They sat in the back of the car, usually with their fingers lightly entwined. That still left them with one hand free to answer their phones. They had a rule not to turn their phones on until they got in the car and it worked well. It left them in peace in the morning to be a normal couple. Of course, if there was an emergency they could be contacted via the landline so they weren’t totally cut off. They were working hard to maintain a balance in their lives and it seemed to be working.

Their first meeting of the day was a joint one with President-elect Santos, Mrs Santos, Annabeth and various members of both staffs. It allowed for a formal run through of the day’s proceedings and for last minute questions.

“Is there a song you’d like played at the balls tonight? I could slip it to the band? Annabeth suggested.

“Oh no, I am not dancing to ‘You can Leave Your Hat on’!” Mrs Santos said emphatically.  
Josh emitted a choking sound.  
This caught the attention of the President-elect. “Care to share with the rest of the class, Josh?”

“No Sir”

“Is there a song *you’d * like tonight?

“No Sir.

“I was thinking “Wild Thing” could be a good choice”, Donna interjected with a straight face.

“That song by the Troggs? Why?” Looking at the red face of his Chief of Staff, Santos couldn’t help but tease, “I think there’s a story here that we all should hear”. 

“Well it involves a certain someone throwing snowballs at my window to make me come to the last Inaugural balls. Pretty romantic, huh?” 

“This sounds good,” said Mrs Santos always keen to hear stories that humanised Josh in her eyes.

“Donna, please…” Josh begged.

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it someday,” Donna told Mrs Santos with a wink.

It was soon time to head to the Capitol for the Inauguration. Josh and Donna proudly stood on the steps, side by side, her hand discreetly in his, feeling a great sense of satisfaction. At the conclusion of the ceremony, President Bartlet made sure he spent a few moments with them to say goodbye. 

“Josh, Donna, I’ve only got a few minutes – I’m being whisked away soon – seems they can’t wait to get me out of town.”

“Yes, sir”

“Josh, I just wanted to wish you luck. Remember what I said. You’re the future. Call me if you need anything. I know you miss Leo but you’ll be fine. With this lovely woman by your side, you’ll achieve great things. Don’t let her go.”

“I don’t intend to sir” 

“And Donnatella, Josh wasn’t the only one who had faith in you. I always saw a big future for you. Do good. Stay true to yourself and make time for each other. You’ve come a long way, Donna. I’m proud of you”

Donna despite being a little choked up managed to stammer her thanks.

“And I expect to see both of you soon for a weekend on the farm.”

With a handshake for Josh and a kiss for Donna, Bartlet was gone.

“Ready?” Josh looked at Donna.

“Yeah, let’s go” 

TBC


	3. Ch 3

Timeline: “Tomorrow” and The Santos administration

A/N: this chapter is short and sweet

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Love it! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

Chapter 3

The Inauguration was over. Sam, Josh, Donna, Annabeth and several others walked back to the White House, eager to begin work. A supportive squeeze on the arm for Josh and Donna sent him on his way. She and Annabeth made their way to the East Wing to set up in order to be ready to meet with Mrs Santos in the morning.

Although they were both familiar with this part of the building, neither Donna nor Annabeth had spent a large amount of time there. Although she tried to block it out, Donna could still recall the Amy era and the pain it caused. Oddly enough, it had never occurred to her that she might occupy Amy’s old office. That thought made her shudder. If she was going to do this it was going to be without the ghosts of Chiefs of Staff past!

Donna was shown into a large room, imposing yet not overpoweringly masculine. 

“How does this room suit?”

“I’m sure Mrs Santos will be very happy here.”

“Oh no. This is for you, Ms Moss.”

Donna mentally freaked out while maintaining her composure “For me? This is mine? Seriously?” she thought. However, she couldn’t stop the smile that made it all the way to her eyes and lit up her face. She felt as though she’d “arrived”. She felt important, powerful and confident. Oh my God, this was real – no play acting now- she was really CoS to FLOTUS. She felt the weight of responsibility that came with such a title and she felt energised.

She picked up the phone and dialled a familiar extension. She felt a slight tug at her heart as she remembered Leo. She knew it was going to be hard for Josh to feel as though the office was his, that he wasn’t just keeping the seat warm until Leo walked back in. Josh answered quickly.  
“Why are you answering your phone? Where’s your assistant? Donna asked.

“She ran off to join the circus. She thought taming lions might be easier than working with me,” came Josh’s dry response. 

“I’ve heard that about you,” Donna bantered back.

“Mmm, thanks.” Despite having talked through their issues, any discussion about Donna’s time as Josh’s assistant was awkward. Sometimes Josh felt she had forgotten the good times.

“Josh, you should see my office. It’s so spacious and…everything. Her enthusiasm had stifled her vocabulary.

“You like it huh?”

“Yeah, I’ll be able to do great things here.”

“Great things? Donna, my imagination is going into overdrive.”

“Josh,” Donna was horrified. “Get your mind out of the gutter. This is the White House we’re talking about. No funny business.”

“What, none?” It was Josh’s turn to be horrified. “Well there goes a long held fantasy.”

“Really? How long?

“Very, very long” he answered seriously.

“Focus, Joshua. Come and see my office.”

“Come and see mine,” he countered.

“I’ve seen it.”

“Yeah, but not with me in it.”

“Actually, I’ve seen you in it many times.”

“True.”

”Come and see my office.’

“I’ll swing by about 6:00. Then we can drive home together to get ready for tonight.”

“Sounds like a plan. Love you. Bye” Donna quickly finished the call.

“Love you too, bye.” As Josh hung up he smiled. That was a first. They’d never shared their feelings in this building before. It felt good.


	4. Ch 4

Timeline: “Tomorrow” and The Santos administration

A/N: Ok, ok so I’m indulging myself in this chapter. I know TWW was not the “Josh’n’Donna show” but how I would have loved the last ep to carry on to the balls… 

A/N: Nothing to angsty in this chapter but you can see the cracks appearing through the fluff

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Love it! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Chapter 4

Josh was dressed and almost ready to go. It had only taken him 20 minutes or so to shower, shave and change. Donna – still at it!! He could never understand the amount of time it took women to prepare for these things. However, he did appreciate the results!

He heard the rustle of fabric and turned around. His mouth suddenly went dry as he looked at the vision in front of him. Donna was wearing a red dress, made from some sort of soft fabric he didn’t know the name of but couldn’t wait to touch! It was a figure hugging style that draped beautifully across her curves. The soft neckline was modest enough from the front but as she turned around Josh was confronted by creamy skin. The scooped out cowl back plunged lower than Josh could have imagined would be decent at an Inaugural Ball. Where would a man put his hand when dancing with her??

Josh’s husky voice finally worked. “I told you 4 years ago you looked amazing. But tonight… I don’t know how to go past that.”

“Try.”

“Stunning, breathtaking, hot and mine,” he smirked at the last choice of word.  
Donna beamed and kissed his cheek. “Thank you” and then kissed his other cheek. 

“And that’s for saying I looked amazing. I never got to thank you the way I wanted.”

“Having you in my lap in the cab was pretty good.” Momentarily they both got lost in the memory.   
Donna broke their gaze. “You’re almost ready but not quite.

“I saved it for you”.

Donna leaned in closer and began to tie his tie. Josh looked at her the whole time, his hands resting around her waist. She felt his gaze and looked up, taken aback by what she saw. The love he felt was written all over his face. It reminded her of another time she’d tied his tie and seen the same expression. They’d ignored it then but no longer.

“I really want to kiss you now”, Josh whispered, his breath fluttering against her ear.

“You’ll mess my makeup,” she smiled.

“It’s just, we’ve done this dance before and I wanted to kiss you then and now I can,” he sounded bashful as he finished speaking.  
Donna leaned in and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

“Yes Josh, now you can.”

Like last time, he offered her his arm and they strolled out to the waiting car.

The evening went by in a whirl of colour, music and faces. Josh finally got a moment alone with Donna at a ball later in the evening.

“You’ve been busy,” he commented.

“I’ve been working.”

“I noticed.”

Something in his tone made her look into his eyes. “What is it? You sounded almost – I don’t know- jealous?”  
Josh squirmed a little. This was all so new for him.

“It’s just that tonight, these balls, it’s the first time we’ve gone to something like this, you know, as a couple. I guess I just wanted to enjoy that and have you all to myself. We could have worked these rooms together.”

Donna reached out to briefly cup his cheek in her hand. “We * are * here together, we’re not hiding it. But you know we can thank more people if we separate. Besides, you haven’t exactly been slacking off.”

Josh sighed, “ I know. It’s just … I would rather have done it with you.”

“Josh that’s sweet but you know tonight is basically a work night. It’s about thanking our supporters and networking with all the people who will help us further our agenda. What we want comes second.”

“Hmm”, Josh replied non committally. Changing the subject he said “We’re due to leave for the next ball soon. Save a dance for me. I’ve got a surprise for you”.

“A surprise? What is it?”

“I’m not telling. You’ll have to wait and see.”

They arrived at the Washington Hilton for the final ball of the evening. It was true. Josh and Donna had been working the rooms hard, had danced with many people but apart from the first ball, had not danced together since. Each ball had it’s own unique entertainment but performing at this last ball was the artist Josh had most been looking forward to. He’d drawn Annabeth aside earlier in the day and taken her up on her offer to have a request played. As Tony Bennet was welcomed to the stage, Josh sought out Donna. His hand outstretched, he asked

“May I have this dance?”

She put her hand in his and he led her to the dance floor as the song was introduced. 

“This song is a special request. It’s dedicated from one man to the woman he loves. He says the song says it all and he wishes he could have requested it years ago.”

Josh gently covered Donna’s hand and brought their joined hands to rest between them against his chest. She rested her head on his shoulder. Neither of them cared who saw. They’d danced a respectable distance apart for years but no longer would they pretend.  
“Listen to the words, Donna” he whispered in her ear.

Someday when I'm awfully low  
When the world is cold  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you   
And the way you look tonight.  
Oh, but you're lovely with your smile so warm   
And your cheek so soft  
There is nothing for me to love you   
And the way you look tonight  
With each word your tenderness grows  
Tearing my fear apart  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose   
touches my foolish heart  
Lovely, never ever change  
Keep that breathless charm  
Won't you please arrange it?   
'Cause I love you  
Just the way you look tonight...

Donna was almost swooning by the end of the song. Josh had often showed her his romantic side but tonight he’d just shared it with the Washington power base. Add to that the sensualness of dancing with the man who was her world who also knew * how * to dance and she was on overload.

“Is this another one of your Tony Bennet fantasies?”

“Yeah, I’m going to undo my tie soon.”

“No, I’m going to undo your tie, among other things” Donna’s sultry voice went right to his core.

Josh gulped “Lets go home. Now!”


	5. Ch 5

Timeline: “The Santos administration

A/N: My information and facts were researched on the UNICEF website. If you want to know more follow the link  
http://www.unicef.org/protection/index_childlabour.html

A/N: Bit of angst, bit of romance

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Love it! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 5  
As predicted, the first few weeks were frantically busy. Nevertheless it was exhilarating. Both Josh and Donna were busy, helping their respective bosses settle in and guiding the staff. Josh and Donna, along with Sam, were regarded as fonts of knowledge, Yodas of the White House, and were constantly answering questions from bewildered staffers, directing those who were lost and overwhelmed.

Josh had settled in well in his role as CoS, despite his earlier concerns. Everyday, he was thankful for the fact that he was working with Sam. He doubted he could do this without him. To be working with someone he trusted and who knew him so well made his work day easier. And since Donna wouldn’t work with him, Sam was a godsend.

“You done for the day?” Sam said as he walked into Josh’s office. 

“Yeah, I’m heading home. It’s 6:00” Josh answered.

“Josh Lyman going home at 6:00! I still pinch myself to be sure I’m not dreaming,” 

“Well, you knew when you took on this job that I was making an attempt to have a life. I think I’m doing OK at it too,” Josh sounded defensive.

“You are. It was actually predictable. Everyone knows that once you decide to do something, you go all out. So do I have any chance of getting you to come for a beer?”

“No chance, my friend. I’ve got my life to go home to.

“Ok, Josh, just so you know – that’s too sappy even for me!”

“Shut up,” Josh teased as he headed out the door.

Josh turned the key in the lock and entered the darkness of his townhouse.  
“Donna,” he called. Silence. All the rooms were dark. “Donna, I’m home”. No response. As he moved through turning on lights, the phone rang.

“Hi, it’s me,” 

“Donna, where are you?”

“I’m still at work”. Josh noticed she sounded excited. “Mrs Santos has finally selected something she’d like to be actively involved in – helping to raise awareness of child labour issues in Third World countries. So I’m setting up a meeting with a representative from UNICEF. I need to have a preliminary meeting with the rep first and the only time he’s available is this evening.” She finally paused for breath.

“OK, well if this is the only time he’s free, you’d better take it. Will I wait for you for dinner?”

“No. I want you to eat. I’ll get something later. I’ll see you soon. Bye.” Donna hung up.

Josh put the phone down. He changed into comfortable clothes and searched the fridge for something to heat up for dinner. He microwaved some left over Thai and settled in front of the TV.

He felt a light touch on his arm. He’d dozed off and Donna was sitting near him.  
“Hey”, he said. “How did you meeting go?”

“Good”, she paused. “Did you know that according to UNICEF there are an estimated 218 million children aged 5-17 engaged in child labour? 126 million of these are working in dangerous conditions like working in mines, working with chemicals or pesticides. Around 5.7 million girls are forced into debt bondage or slavery…” her voice dropped away. “It’s awful.”

Josh pulled her in close so that her head rested against his chest. “Sounds like you’ve found something to get your teeth into. It also sounds like something you’re not keeping at arms length.” He meant this as a slight warning. He loved that she got passionately involved in causes like this and could see the personal side of issues. It gave her an edge over some of the more hard-nosed politicians involved in the decision making process. But he also knew the emotional toll it could take and he wanted to protect from hurting too much.

“Yeah”, she agreed. “This would be a great issue for the First Lady to get involved with. But I’ll have to try to not get too invested emotionally”.

“Why?” Josh questioned.

“Why? It wouldn’t be a good look for the CoS to FLOTUS to be seen blubbering away in public. I want to be taken seriously, not humoured. I thought you’d want that for me too.” Her voice had got louder and she jumped up to look at Josh.

A voice inside Josh’s head warned “What the hell is happening here? Tread carefully unless you want to be sleeping in the spare room tonight!”

“Donna, you are taken seriously, not just by me but by everyone who knows you. But your ability to empathise with others is a gift. Don’t fight it; use it to your advantage. All I’m saying is that I hate to see you upset. Just remember I’m here for you.”

Donna’s antagonism dissipated and she sank back down on to the sofa. “Sorry I snapped.”

“I think you’ve had a long day and you need to relax. How about a warm bath, a glass of wine and then bed?”

“Hm, sounds good” Donna said as she leant in to kiss him. It quickly escalated and Donna stood up and stretched out her hand. “But it would be better if you joined me. Tempted?”  
Josh took her outstretched hand. “Are you kidding? I’m there!”

Several hours later they lay in bed, wrapped around each other. “Have you got any plans for Friday night?” Josh suddenly asked.

“No, nothing really. What’ve you got in mind?

“Do you know what Friday is?”

“Um, the day after Thursday?

“Funny girl! Not what I was thinking of. Try again.”

“Last day of the working week?” she said.

“Again, not what I had in mind,” Josh replied.

Donna was confused, it was late and she was feeling oh so relaxed after their bout of love making. “You’re going to have to help me out here,” she told him.  
Josh was unsure if she was teasing him or she was genuinely unaware of the significance of Friday.

“It’s our anniversary,” he announced proudly.

“Which anniversary? Don’t tell me we’re going to have our annual February vs April argument.”

“No, no, better! What happened 3 months ago?

“3 months…that would be back in November… the election…oh!” Donna smiled. 

Josh was a little disappointed that she needed reminding. After all he was a man of occasion!

“Yes,” he said

“3 months ago.”

“Yes.”

We finally …” Donna didn’t need to finish.

“Yes”

“Ah”

“Yes”

“So what do you have in mind?” she queried as she snuggled closer.

“How about I take you to dinner at Michel Richard Citronelle? You love French food”.

“Sounds heavenly.”

“Then I’ve managed to get tickets to the London Symphony Orchestra’s performance at the Kennedy Center.”

“Josh, how did you get those? That’s been booked out for weeks,” Donna exclaimed.

“Well, its no use being powerful for nothing,” he joked.

“And handsome”.

Josh chuckled “Something like that. So does it sound OK?”

“Perfect” she murmured as they drifted off to sleep

TBC


	6. Ch 6

Timeline: “The Santos administration

 

A/N: I know some of you don’t like seeing me cause havoc in the lives of our favourite couple. Hang in there! I’d never cause irreparable damage!

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Love it! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 6

The week flew by. It had been hectic. Donna and Mrs Santos were busy gathering information on the plight of children involved in child labour. A meeting with the UNICEF representative had led to an invitation to visit the UNICEF headquarters in New York in order to gain insight into exactly what role the First Lady could play.

On Thursday Donna slowly made her way to Josh’s office. She was one of the few with walk in privileges. But this was one time she wished she could give him a heads up on what was about to happen.   
“Donna, what brings you here at this time of the day? Business or pleasure?” He stopped talking as he saw the look on her face. “What is it? What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

“Relax, I’m fine”, she reassured him. “But you’re not going to like what I have to say.”

“C’mon. You know you can tell me anything.”

“Well, the thing is…this business with UNICEF is really taking off for us.”

“Yeah, it’s a worthwhile cause.”

“Thanks. We’ve been invited to UNICEF headquarters in New York this Saturday. I know we try to avoid weekend meetings but we weren’t given a lot of options.”

“Donna, I know we agreed on this. The Santos’s too. They want to spend time with their kids. But we’ve been around long enough to know that there will be times when it can’t be avoided. What time do you leave?"

“Um, actually Mrs Santos wants us to go on Friday night so we can talk to some aid workers who have been to countries where child slavery is rife.” Donna told him hesitatingly.

“Friday night?” Josh tried but failed to hide his feelings. “But Friday is our anniversary. I’ve got this whole thing planned…” his voice faded away.

“I know and I’m sorry but this is important. We can do something when I get back.” 

“Did you tell Mrs Santos you had plans? Maybe if you explained?"

“Josh, you know I can’t do that. We can celebrate another night. I really am sorry." 

She was trying to avoid the disappointment in his eyes. “ I have to get back.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll call you later and maybe we can drive home together?”  
“Yeah,” Josh replied. As Donna left his office he sat down behind his desk. He really felt torn. He was disappointed that their plans had to be cancelled. He’d really been making an effort to balance the personal and the professional and oddly enough wasn’t finding it as hard as he thought. He’d deliberately kept Friday night clear. He was disappointed Donna hadn’t. On the other hand he truly understood the nature of their jobs, knew things like this would happen and was supportive and proud of Donna’s determination to bring these issues into the eyes of the public. She really was doing a great job. He just didn’t want her to do it this Friday night!

Reaching into the top drawer of his desk, Josh took out the concert tickets. He slowly made his way towards Sam’s office.

“Hey Josh, what’s up?"

“Nothing really. I was wondering what you had planned for Friday night?”

“No plans. What did you have in mind?” Sam asked

“I’ve got 2 tickets to the London Symphony Orchestra’s performance at the Kennedy Center. Do you want to go?”

Sam paused. “Honestly Josh? I love you like a brother but do I want to go on a date with you? Not so much!”

“What? No! I mean do you and Tina want the tickets?”

“Well sure. It sounds great. But I thought you and Donna were going?”

“We were but something’s come up. She has to fly to NY with the First Lady on Friday to prepare for a meeting on Saturday at UNICEF headquarters.”

“She cancelled on you?” Sam said incredulously.

“It’s no big deal. She should go. This is a big issue and they’re just getting started on it.”

“Well yes, but…”

Josh interrupted. “No big deal Sam. Take the tickets. There are dinner reservations too. Have a great time.”

Sam watched sadly as his friend left his office. This seemed wrong on so many levels.

TBC


	7. Ch 7

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: This one is a long chapter but I didn’t want to break it up.

A/N: Getting in to the angst now…

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Love it! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 7

Donna returned from NY fired up about the opportunity to have Mrs Santos work with UNICEF. There was a possibility of an overseas trip, guest speaking at a regional UNICEF conference but that was still to be confirmed.  
Their air force jet taxied to a stop at Andrews and all the staff waited impatiently to disembark. It was only midday Sunday and that left them all with the chance to have some personal time. Donna knew she had her work cut out for her when she got home to make things up to Josh. She descended the stairs, looked up and was amazed to see Josh waiting at the foot of the steps. He swept her up into a hug and planted quite the kiss on her.  
“I missed you,” he said. “You realise that’s the first time we’ve been apart since you moved in?”

“I missed you too,” Donna replied. It was true. She had missed him. She found it a bit disturbing that she had got so used to sharing a bed with him. The hotel bed had seemed very, very empty.

“Nice! I see *my * man’s not here. How quickly the novelty wears off. “ Helen Santos couldn’t help but mess with them. “Josh, take this woman home and I don’t want to see her in her office until tomorrow afternoon.”

“No argument from me,” he replied as he whisked her towards the waiting car. The drive home was occupied with Donna recapping the NY visit and Josh relating how he spent the weekend without her.

When they got home, Donna again apologised for cancelling their plans.

“It’s ok. Yes, I was disappointed but I meant what I said. I support you with this and I know you’ll do well. We can do something special for our 6 month anniversary.

“Why wait that long?” and she enthusiastically made it up to Josh for the rest of the day. 

Their life and routines continued on much as before. In the course of a week they were both usually scheduled for at least one evening event; a dinner, speech or an opening. In those cases they tried to be each other’s date so at least they could spend time together as well as keep up to speed on the types of things the President and First Lady were involved in. But it was the other nights Josh loved most. They usually ate dinner at home, talking through their day – not in an “I’m keeping the CoS informed “ way but more the comfortable exchange between two people sharing the highlights of their day. Josh would offer his opinion, which Donna was grateful for, and she continued to be his sounding board and at times, moral compass. Sometimes they both had to bring work home and they would curl up on the sofa, Donna lying down with her head in Josh’s lap as they both read through files.

One night Josh suddenly exclaimed: “Let’s go out.”

“What? Now?” Dona was a little surprised.

“Yeah, let’s go get some hot chocolate. We can go for a walk.”

“Hmm that’s tempting but I want to read through this report before tomorrow” 

“C’mon, it’ll do you good. It’s not that cold outside and the fresh air is invigorating”

“Invigorating? Josh, are you feeling alright? 

“I feel fine. I just thought it might be fun.”

“It would be fun but I need to read this. We’ll go some other time.” 

Josh was a little confused. She was actually choosing to stay in and read a report than go out with him and do something spontaneous and fun. He lifted her head from his lap and walked away muttering “Need to read or want to read?” Donna didn’t hear - she was engrossed in her reading.

An hour or so later, Donna came to bed to find Josh already asleep. As she lifted the covers and slipped in alongside of him, he woke up.   
“This weekend is the Cherry Blossom festival. Do you want to go?

“Josh Lyman, are you asking me on a date?

He laughed. “I guess it sounds like that but there is one thing I’m sure of – we never needed to date. We don’t need to have those artificial encounters where we try to get to know each other over a drink or a dinner. I don’t need to have my arm around you in a movie to know I want to do that for the rest of my life. We already know each other’s embarrassing stories. We’ve seen each other in the best and worst of times. I know your favourite flower, flavour ice cream and movie. You know my favourite baseball player, how I take my coffee and the actress that makes me go weak at the knees. What benefit would there be to dating? We’ve got it all!”

Donna’e eyes had misted over during that little tirade. He was right – they’d never needed to date.   
“The Festival sounds lovely. What do you want to do?”

“Well how about we watch the parade and then go wherever the feeling takes us? Our weeks are always so heavily planned I don’t want to plan too much in our free time.”

“Good idea. Why don’t we ask Sam and Tina to join us?’

Josh paused. He had nothing against the idea as such but he didn’t want to share this time with anyone other than Donna. Yet he knew it sounded mean spirited to not invite them. As always, Donna could read his mind.  
“How about we watch the parade together and then meet up with them later in the afternoon. Maybe go and see some of the performances near the Tidal Basin, drink a little sake, eat a little sushi?”

Josh sighed “That sounds like a plan. I’ll talk to Sam tomorrow.”

By the time Sunday rolled around, Josh was quite excited. Having lived in DC for years, he was not unaware of the importance of this festival to the city. But he was appalled to realise he had never actually participated in any part of it. He had always been too busy. Or too tired. He had always had an excuse. But this year was different. Last year he and Donna could barely stand to be in the same room. Now they had trouble getting out of bed. The thought of spending the day with Donna connecting with the human race en masse was energising him and he was up and ready to go early in the day.

Suddenly, he heard a noise that had become an unusual one in their home – the sound of a cell phone. He was fairly sure he’d remembered to turn his off when he got home last night. Checking his phone, yep, turned off. That only left Donna’s. She was in the shower so he answered it, took a message and sat back down, cradling the phone in his hand. That was how Donna found him a few minutes later.

“What is it? Has something happened?”

”Your phone rang. You must have forgotten to turn it off last night.”

“Actually, I didn’t forget. I turned it back on this morning.”

“What? Why? We have an agreement. No cell phones in the home. If it’s a major emergency our staffs know to call the landline. Even the President and First lady know we made that choice and they admire us for being so strong.”

“I know Josh and you’re right. It’s just that my assistant was going to let me know when the interviews with the breakfast shows were confirmed and I wanted to know,” Donna explained trying to avoid his gaze.

“It couldn’t wait until you were in the office?”

”I guess it could but the sooner I know, the sooner Annabeth and I can start drafting her remarks.”

“You can’t start drafting ideas today." Donna was silent. “Donna, you can’t. We’re going to the parade.”

“We can still go. It just means that I might have to step away from time to time to take a call.”

“Do you even want to go out today? Maybe you’d rather go into the East Wing and work?” Josh almost shouted.  
“Josh, I can do this. We can still have our day out.”

Josh gathered his thoughts before he spoke, something he wasn’t well known for doing.

“Donna, remember our vacation? I left everything behind. All electronic devices. No phone, no pager, no laptop. Did you even get what I was saying by making that gesture? I was showing you, in the only way I knew how, that you were the most important thing in my life. That I could focus totally on you and where our relationship was going. That I wasn’t just the job, that I was a man desperately trying to get his priorities right.”

“Josh, it’s just a parade,” Donna tried to placate him.

“It’s more than that and you know it,” he tossed back. “Come to the parade, don’t come. It’s your choice. I’m going anyway.” At which he stormed out the door, slamming it behind him, leaving behind a stunned Donna.

Josh watched the parade with only a part of his brain paying attention to it. The other half was reliving the words he’d exchanged with Donna. He felt terrible, for many reasons. He headed over to the Tidal Basin area and met up with Sam and Tina.  
“Hi,” he said.

“Hey, where’s Donna?” Sam queried. There was a slump to Josh’s shoulders and a bleak look in his eyes that rang warning bells in Sam’s mind.

“We had a fight. She’s not coming.” Josh sounded sad; it was the only word for it.

“A fight, what about?”

”Work. She wanted to come today and work as well.”

“You mean go in to the office.”

“No I mean be taking calls all afternoon while trying to watch the parade.”

“Did something come up?” Tina asked.

“That’s the thing. You see, everything she wanted to do she could do in the office tomorrow.” 

“So, why?

“I don’t know Sam, I don’t know.”

Sam recalled the feelings Donna shared with him months ago in California. He considered sharing it with Josh now but thought better of it. It needed to come from Donna.

The three of them sat on the grass, eating sushi and watching the entertainment. Josh felt Donna slide onto the ground next to him.

“I found you. There’s quite a crowd.”

“Yes,”

“I’m sorry. I got a little carried away”

”Ya think?”

“I * know* I got a little carried away. I’ve left the phone at home. Can we enjoy what’s left of today? Please? You *are* important to me.”

Josh looked up and saw the remorse on her face. He knew he gave in too quickly but he couldn’t help himself. He forgave her immediately, put his arm around her, drawing her close to his body as they enjoyed the performers.

Although she had eventually turned up, Josh had a feeling deep in his gut that things had not been repaired. This argument had not gone away.


	8. Ch 8

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Love it! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 8  
Josh woke with the early morning sunlight streaming in the window. He reached out for Donna and found himself clutching air. This had become all too common recently. Either she would have left for work before he even woke, or he’d find her asleep in the living room surrounded by whatever work she’d brought home the night before. The irony wasn’t lost on him He still brought work home but set himself a time limit – no more than 2 hours of work. It helped that the President strictly enforced his goal of being at home at night for his family. He tried to be a hands-on Dad, helping with homework and bedtime. The First Lady’s office was known to keep fairly regular hours so Josh struggled to understand the hours Donna was putting in. He could see she was having difficulty balancing her new job with her life.

Josh came into the office and immediately sensed an undercurrent of tension. People were looking at him cautiously and the whispered words of staffers unsettled him. As soon as he sat as his desk, Sam and Lou were in the room.

Lou started straight in. “Have you seen this morning’s papers?”

“Slept in! Only saw the headlines. Is there something I need to see?” The look on Lou’s face concerned him. 

“This piece about the First Lady’s upcoming visit to Australia for the Asia Pacific UNICEF conference – you haven’t read it? 

“No-o”, he answered cautiously.

“Let me share this little treat with you, buried half way through the article. Sources close to the First Lady feel that the administration is not doing enough to exert pressure on foreign governments to control child slavery abuses. 

Josh felt as though he’d been slammed. “Sources close to the First Lady” could only mean one thing – it had come from Donna. He struggled to believe she would say such a thing, especially without running it through his office first. There was a process for doing things like this and Donna knew that process better than anyone. She’d seen what happened when both Lily and Amy had ignored the process. Now Donna was doing it? He felt the anger build within him. 

“Call the First Lady’s office and tell them I’m on my way over. Don’t let them tell you they’ll see me at their earliest convenience. They’ll see me now!

Josh noticed that Sam had said nothing. He looked at his friend and registered his distress. This was a potentially explosive situation. Sam knew someone needed to be the voice of reason so he followed Josh through the corridors to the East Wing.

“It’s probably not how it looks. It may have been someone else,” he tried to reassure Josh.

“Sam, I’m afraid it’s exactly how it looks and if it is…this is unchartered territory for us”  
Josh briefly nodded at Donna’s assistant and burst through her door.

“What the hell were you thinking? Telling a reporter we’re not doing enough to prevent child slavery?” Josh’s voice was low and controlled.

“Josh, it was a calculated comment. We can only do so much; we need Governments on board with us to make any realistic changes. If by leaking these thoughts, I pushed the topic onto the front pages, then I’m glad.

“You’re glad to be undermining the President and implying he’s not actively involved in this? Glad to create the image that he doesn’t care? God, Donna what’s got into you?

“I’m doing my job, Josh. This is what I do”.

“This isn’t your job and it’s not what you do. We work together on issues and policy. If you can’t remember to do that you’ll find you’re taking me on and it won’t be pretty.”

“Taking *you * on? This isn’t personal Josh.”

“You’re right. This is business. Attack our record on issues again and my office will bust your office like a piñata.” Josh stormed out, leaving Sam behind.

Donna defiantly looked at Sam. He shook his head. “Donna you know better. That’s the part that’s hard to grasp. This isn’t a rookie mistake – you knew exactly what you were doing.”

“Yes, I did.”

“This is hard on both of you. I think Josh hoped with you here, he’d have someone he could rely on, who was familiar with the ways things worked, who he could trust to work with his office to present a united front.”

“And I thought he’d understand I’ll to do what ever I have to do to achieve what I want.”

“Yes, but ruthlessly and publicly attacking him. ”

“I’m not attacking him,”

“C’mon Donna you know Josh better than anyone. Attack the President and he takes it personally. He feels responsible. He needs to know you support him, that he can trust your Office. Don’t hurt him.” With that Sam walked way leaving her to her thoughts.

Sam had used the word “trust “ twice. Had her actions left Josh with the impression he couldn’t trust her. That thought left her feeling cold. Of course, he could trust her. But this was politics and was separate from their personal life. Couldn’t he see that?

When Donna got home that night, Josh wasn’t there. The message light on their answering machine blinked accusingly at her. She pressed play to hear Josh’s voice echo around the room.

“I’m catching up with some paperwork, classified stuff I can’t bring home. Don’t wait up.”

It was terse and to the point. “Fine,” she thought. “If he wants to sulk, that’s up to him” and she took herself off to bed. Josh never came home that night and Donna didn’t notice until she awoke the next morning.


	9. Ch 9

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

 

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Please!! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 9 

Sam arrived at the White House to be met by a nervous looking assistant.   
“Thank God you’re here. Ginger said I was to find you as soon as you got in. She said you’re needed urgently in Mr Lyman’s office.”

Sam was alarmed. Ginger wasn’t one to panic and if she needed Sam urgently it usually meant something was going on that she didn’t know how to deal with.

Ginger’s relief when she saw Sam was blatant. “Thank heavens you’re here. I found Josh asleep in his office this morning, he’s wearing out a path on the carpet and is snapping at anyone who goes near him. Normally, I’d call Donna but seeing he slept here last night, I just assumed…” She didn’t need to finish that sentence.

“You did the right thing. Leave it to me.” Sam cautiously entered Josh’s office. He couldn’t help but be shocked by his friend’s appearance. Bloodshot eyes, wrinkled clothes and hair standing on end gave an insight into his state of mind.

“Hey, how’s it going?"

“Sam, thank God. You’ve got to help me make it right with Donna. I’ve really screwed up and I don’t know where to begin to repair the damage.”

Sam paused before commenting. He didn’t believe all the blame lay with Josh. But he understood that Josh would feel guilty about the way he had reacted.

“Well at the risk of sounding like a cliché, talk to her. Go now, find her and try to explain things from your perspective.”

“Right, my perspective. I can do that." Josh gravely looked at his friend. "I didn’t go home last night. I acted like a jackass.”

“This is one of the first major speed bumps you guys have hit. You gotta get past it and move on.”

“I know. It’s just..”

“Yeah?” Sam nudged.

“This will sound crazy but there are times when I think I don’t really know Donna. Which is absurd because I do. But lately, she seems…driven…even a little distant. That’s crazy, isn’t it?”

Sam didn’t know what to say. He had certainly seen a different Donna since his return to DC. In some ways she was still the friendly people person she’d always been. But at other times she seemed to be cut off, emotionally, from what was going on around her.   
Avoiding the question, he advised “Go talk to her”.

Josh gently knocked on her door and popped his head around. “Am I welcome?" he asked.  
Donna looked at him warily. She really didn’t want to go another 10 rounds with him. She was exhausted. 

“The White House grapevine is going nuts this morning. It seems everyone knows you slept here last night. Are you ok?” she coolly asked

“Yeah. Look, this isn’t easy for me so just let me get through it. I’ve come to apologize. You blindsided me. Hard nosed political moves I can cope with but not when they come from you. I wasn’t prepared. I’m sorry’

Donna hesitated before answering. “There are going to be times when our offices will clash. We have to recognize that whatever our personal relationship, we can’t let it affect our business decisions. Arguments we have here are separate from our life outside of these walls. I’ve got a job to do and while I’m not about furthering my own agenda at the expense of yours, I won’t allow what’s coming from this office to be pushed into the background.”

Josh looked at her thoughtfully. He was learning that she would take him on when she needed to, that they were equals and she would defend her position and beliefs with a passion. He always found arguments with beautiful smart women a turn on and he’d always reacted to the challenges Donna had directed at him over the years!

“Next time, talk to our press office first. Don’t make another mistake that makes you look like a beginner. You’re better than that. Friends again?”

“ Of course. But come home tonight and I’ll show you that we’re more than friends.”   
She gave him a quick kiss and sent him on his way.  
As Josh left he tried not to dwell on the fact that Donna hadn’t apologized.


	10. Ch 10

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

Rating: G

Feedback: Always appreciated!! 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 10 a

The weeks leading up to the Mrs Santos’ first overseas trip were hectic for Donna and her staff. The First Lady was honoured with an invitation to deliver the opening address and while she was flattered, she was also very nervous. She was well aware that the American media would be focused on her, evaluating every word and look. Foreign media attention would be harder to attract and the Press office was working hard to build interest.

Donna was putting in long hours but Josh was very understanding. He was very familiar with the intensity required prior to an overseas trip and therefore was not inclined to complain when his time with Donna was less than he’d like. If the roles were reversed and they would soon be, he knew Donna would be as patient as ever. Josh took to ordering in food for dinner, taking it to her office and spending time with her over chicken parmigana or beef and broccoli stir fry. They’d discuss the day’s events and Donna sought his advice on matters relating to the upcoming trip. He’d leave her to work for a few more hours before returning to collect her and prize her out of the office for a few hours sleep. She was usually gone by the time he woke in the morning. At times, a crisis somewhere in the world would keep Josh working through the night. So Josh and Donna could go a few days seeing little of each other. But he always made time to drop in. Maybe he’d sit in one of her comfortable chairs and answer emails or read some files.

Sam observed this developing pattern and one day casually introduced the topic.  
“Donna’s keeping long hours these days. How do you manage to spend time together?”

”It’s hard but I’ve learned that if it’s important to you, you can find the time. We manage.”

“Seems like you’re the one making all the effort” Sam tossed out there, leaving Josh trying to avoid paying attention to what he heard. 

 

Several days later

Josh confidently strode into Donna’s office. She may have walk-in privileges with him but he also had a clear path to her desk. 

“Donna I’m shutting down that computer and we’re going home.”

Donna was more than a little pissed with his dictatorial tone.  
“Josh, touch that computer and you’ll be sorry”. Her threatening tone made him look closely at her.

“Donna, I’m messing with you. I’m sorry. I just came over here to see if we could go home together. It’s been awhile since we did that. We used to do it a lot.”

“Josh, I can’t go yet. There’s so much to tie up before I fly out tomorrow.”

The First Lady and her staff were flying out in the morning to attend the Asia Pacific Conference of UNICEF, this year being held in Sydney, Australia. Donna was intensely focused on getting everything together before their departure.

“Donna, if it’s not done now, it’s probably doesn’t need to be done. You’re leaving tomorrow morning for your first trip as CoS to FLOTUS. That’s a pretty big responsibility you’re carrying there. You’ve got a ridiculously long flight ahead, you’ll be crossing I don’t know how many times zones, you’re body will be under stress. I just wanna take my girl home, help her unwind and spend a few hours in her company before she flies off to the other side of the world. Is that too much to ask?”

Donna took the time to really look at Josh. He was beseeching her to pack up and go home with him. He had been 100% supportive of the work that needed to be done prior to an official visit. But maybe now was the time to give a little back to him. He was right – there wasn’t much more to do that couldn’t be done in flight.

“Ok, give me 15 minutes to tidy up and pack up. I’ll meet you at the car.”

Inwardly, Josh sighed with relief. Things had been a little off between them since the leak and he sometimes got the feeling Donna was avoiding spending too much one -on - one time with him. He was going to miss her and he really wanted to spend a quiet night with her.

“How about we go see that new movie you’ve been talking about? We can eat popcorn, make out in the back row and then I’ll take you home for a massage and a little lovin’?” he smiled suggestively at her.

“Josh, just so you know and I don’t really want to inflate your ego, but there’s nothing “little” about your “lovin’”, she batted the banter right back at him.

He walked out of the office, smiling over his shoulder teasing her with a “You’re down to 13 minutes now”.


	11. Ch 11

Ch 11

The long flight ended with an early evening touchdown into Sydney. Customs and immigration procedures taken care of on board, the motorcade set off on a green light route to the hotel. 20 minutes from touchdown to hotel – travelling with the First lady certainly had it’s perks! The motorcade drove through city streets that had been cleared for their arrival. Donna viewed with interest the historical buildings, floodlit at night that lined Macquarie St. The early days of Sydney’s European history were well preserved in this precinct. As they continued along this street, they could both see the welcome sight of the Hotel Intercontinental, hotel of choice for previous US Presidents.

Donna and Mrs Santos wearily alighted from the car. Both of them longed for a hot shower before collapsing into bed. But Donna knew her day wasn’t over until she had settled Helen in. They were quickly ushered to the Australia Suite on the 29th floor.   
“Oh my, “ gasped Mrs Santos. “Donna, come see.” Mrs Santos was like a child in a candy shop. 

“Ma’am, this type of suite is not unusual for someone in your position,” Donna reasoned.

“Yes, but Donna this is my first trip as First Lady. I’ve only seen rooms like this on “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”.

Donna giggled despite the jetlag. The room certainly was impressive. Panoramic views over Sydney Harbour, an open air terrace with a dining area, spacious living room with a grand piano (!), kitchen and spa bath made for a very pleasant stay!  
“Ma’am, I’m practically dropping with exhaustion. Can we continue the tour tomorrow?”

“Oh Donna I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away. Of course, go and sleep. What’s the plan for tomorrow?”

”Well, we’ve been scheduled a rest day until evening. So, I’ll leave you in the capable hands of the Secret Service and I’ll meet you at 5:00 tomorrow afternoon. We’ll be too tired to work effectively before then. I plan to do some sightseeing.”

Donna couldn’t help but note the slightly wistful tone when Mrs Santos told her to enjoy her day. Being the wife of the US President had some drawbacks.

Donna dragged her aching body to her room. Of course, it was much simpler than Mrs Santos’ but still impressive. One of the first things she saw upon entering was the crystal vase containing a magnificent display of red roses. She picked up the card and read:

“Do good Down Under. Missing you already. Josh.“

She inhaled the scent and smiled. 

Donna woke early the next morning, her body clock all over the place. After a quick call to room service for some breakfast, Donna decided to knock the jetlag on the head. She was no good to anyone when suffering the effects of international travel. Rather than use the hotel gym, she took advantage of the one perk she had on this trip – a car and driver. Naturally, Donna being Donna she had done some research of what to do in her free time. The cliff top walk from Bondi Beach to Bronte was famous for it’s spectacular coastal views and it’s popularity for joggers and walkers. Donna asked the driver to take her to Bondi Beach. An early morning jog would help clear the cobwebs from her brain. After an hour she was ready to return to the hotel to shower and change.

Donna had several hours to herself and she planned to make the most of them. She knew she could be fine tuning aspects of their upcoming events but she was in a foreign city with some free time and was not immune to the lure of exposing herself to a different culture. Also, she was not unaware of the fact that here, her anonymity allowed her the freedom to go out. A freedom that Helen Santos could not easily enjoy. She strolled out of the hotel, heading to the ferry wharves a short distance away. She boarded a ferry that took her across the harbour to a seaside community called Manly. The half hour journey gave her a magnificent view of Sydney. She wandered around the beach front, splashed her feet in the Pacific Ocean, indulged in an ice cream and felt the most relaxed she’d felt in a long time. It may have been early autumn but the weather was still warm. Reluctantly she caught the ferry back. By the time she got back to the city it was lunchtime, so she wandered around to the restaurants and cafes that lined the pedestrian path to the Opera House. She sat outdoors, enjoying a seafood platter before the jetlag kicked in again and she needed a rest before meeting up with Mrs Santos.

Several hours later Donna knocked on the door of the suite. As she walked in she couldn’t fail to notice the flowers, so similar to the ones in her room. Mrs Santos saw where her eyes rested.

“I got some too,” Donna said.

“Do you think Ronna put in a double order?”

”Oh I know so, “ Donna laughed.

They spent the evening dining with the US ambassador and his wife who were very keen to discuss the impact Mrs Santos speech would have in highlighting the issues. The water taxi took them back towards the city. The next two days would be spent at the UNICEF conference so an early night was in order.

Donna returned to her room, mentally calculated the time difference and placed a call to Josh. She had so much to tell him.

He picked up almost straight away. 

“Were you sitting by the phone waiting for me to call?”

“Might’ve been.” He tried to sound nonchalant.

“It’s not too early, is it?

“No and even if it was I wouldn’t care. How’s it going so far?”

“Well we just had dinner with the ambassador and his wife but other than that the official stuff starts tomorrow.”

“So what did you do today?”

”Went sightseeing. It’s a beautiful city. We should come here one day.” She sounded a little wistful.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, just tired. Another good night’s sleep and I’ll be fine. You should see Mrs Santos’ suite. Did you know that not only have previous US presidents stayed here but so too have Frank Sinatra, Luciano Pavarotti and Matt Damon!”

”Donna Moss, trivia queen,” he chuckled.

“I’ve got more facts to share. Do you know that on the Australian coat of arm are the kangaroo and the emu, animals that can’t go backwards, symbolising that the country only moves forward.” Josh snorted. “If you’re not going to appreciate them, I can always email them to President Bartlet.”

“That’s so true. The two of you together are positively freaky”, Josh was enjoying listening to a side of Donna he hadn’t seen for a long time.

“Joshua,” she warned. Changing direction she lowered her voice and said “I’m going to bed now. It’s a very big bed and it’s very empty.”

“Donna, are offering me phone sex?” Josh’s voice went really high with that question.

“You should be so lucky, but sadly no, I’m too tired,”

“Another time?” he challenged.

“Maybe. I’ll email you later. Miss you.” her voice was fading away.

“I miss you too. Go sleep now, my love.”

The call was disconnected.

The next two days flew by. The UNICEF conference of the Asia Pacific region was held in the Sydney Opera House. The First Lady’s impassioned speech on the opening day displayed her commitment to the need to reduce the abuse of children used as child labourers and slaves in many countries. The second day was spent attending various key note speeches before attending the official conference dinner. The US delegation was exhausted but encouraged by the media coverage they had received. Even the coverage back home, though small, was positive and a few editorial comments were picking up on the purpose of Mrs Santos’ visit.

The final day of the visit was spent in Canberra, the nation’s capitol. It reminded Donna a little of DC. Both were government towns, both had no soaring skyscrapers and both had a feeling of openness. The bulk of the day was spent on official duties visiting sites standard to most visiting dignitaries. Mrs Santos laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at the War Memorial before being given a tour of the galleries which she and Donna found enlightening. There were many aspects of Australian involvement in war that they were unaware of. Lunch was had at The Lodge, the official residence of the Prime Minister. In the car Donna ran through any last minute protocol matters.

“Don’t refer to the Prime Minister’s wife as The First Lady,” Donna warned.

“She isn’t?” Helen sounded surprised.

“That title is reserved for the wife of the Governor General who is the head of state in Australia. He is the Queen’s representative.”

“Ok so it’s like Canada, somewhere you have great affinity for,” she teased. Helen had long ago heard the story of Donna’s confused citizenship as well as Josh’s willingness to sort it out. Donna blushed as they drove through the gates of The Lodge.

“That was a long time ago Ma’am. Best leave the details in the past.”

A formal reception in The Great Hall of Parliament House concluded the official aspects of this visit. A short drive to the airport, they boarded their specially outfitted 757 and they were soon on their way home.


	12. Ch 12

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: Getting right down to it now! Fasten your seatbelts!

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Always appreciated

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 12  
“Donna, there’s a journalist from the Post wanting to speak to you. They wouldn’t say what it is about. Should I put them through?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a few minutes. It’s probably a request for a follow up interview after our trip.”

“Hello. How can I help you?” Donna, ever polite, greeted the unknown journalist.

“Ms Moss, I’m wondering if you’d care to comment on the relationship between Josh Lyman and Joey Lucas?”  
Donna was momentarily taken aback. A gossip columnist was not who she was expecting to be talking to!  
“What is this in regard to? Josh and Joey have been friends for years and have a successful business relationship. He often uses her to gather polling data. She is a trusted colleague.” She coolly and professionally responded.

“Yes, everyone knows they go back many years but I am looking at a photograph that could imply they’re moving their friendship into new territory.”

Donna could hardly breathe. The journalist continued. “As well there have been rumours sweeping DC that all is not well in your relationship with Mr Lyman.”

The nausea this conversation was inducing was threatening to embarrass her. What the hell was he talking about? However she knew she needed to desperately pull herself together and squash this story before it got any worse.

“I don’t think it is necessary for me to dignify rumour with a comment. Goodbye.” 

As she went to hang up she heard the journalist offering to fax over a copy of the photo. She wanted to tell him that wasn’t necessary but the seed of doubt had been planted in her mind. She knew that despite the best will in the world, she was about to gaze upon something that would shake her world to it’s very core.

Donna walked nonchalantly to the fax machine when she really wanted to run to it. She knew that things had been a little tense between her and Josh recently but this scenario was something she had never expected. The fax machine whirred into action and soon Donna was clutching a copy of a photo that made her heart stop. Somehow she got back to her office where she collapsed into the armchair. She looked at it closely. The photograph had been taken through the glass frontage of an intimate Georgetown restaurant. Seated at the window table was Josh and Joey, she with her hand resting atop his and smiling. And Josh was smiling back at her. A knock at her door interrupted the beginning of a meltdown.

“Hi Donna, I’m heading over to the mess for a coffee and I thought you might want to join me. We haven’t had much chance to talk lately.” Sam’s cheery face was soon replaced with concern when he saw the tears in her eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked solicitously as he knelt in front of her. Donna silently handed him the fax.

Sam’s eyes widened. It certainly looked incriminating but he had been around long enough to know there was always two sides to a story.

He spoke gently. “Donna, where did you get this?”

“ A journalist from the Washington Post. The press have it and wanted a comment from me.”

“You didn’t comment did you?”

“Sam, I’ve been around a while. Of course I didn’t comment. Other than to state Joey is a trusted colleague.”

“Have you spoken to Josh?”

“No, I’ve only just got this. Oh Sam, what’s happening? Has he realized I’m not worthy of him? That he’d be better off with someone else?”

“Definitely not”, Sam said emphatically. “No matter how difficult things have been for you both, and I know they have been difficult so don’t try to deny it, Josh loves you and wouldn’t do something like this. I’m sure there is a logical explanation.”

“Things have been so confusing between us. I’m not sure what to do to fix it.”

“Well, it’s a big plus that you just indicated you want to fix it. Donna think carefully. Why have you guys lost your rhythm?”

“I’m not sure. We seem to want different things at the moment.”

“Donna will you let me tell you a few home truths? You know I love Josh like a brother, he’s my best friend and I’ve watched you two dance around your feeling for years. But you might not like what I’m about to say.” He looked at her hesitatingly.

Donna looked up at her friend who had walked the long journey with them and knew them both so well. Her blue eyes looked at him trustingly and she beseeched him to help her.

“You’re channelling Amy.”

“What?” she almost screeched. This was so not what she was expecting him to say.

“Ok, that came out all wrong. Let me start again.”

“Yes, Sam. I think you’d better,” she icily replied.

Sam paused before saying “ Donna, think about why you want to be with Josh. Don’t answer, just reflect on it. You’re in such an important place in your career. You’ve been working long hours in an endeavour to prove yourself. And you’ve made some amazing achievements. Dedication to your job is an admirable trait but not if it comes at the cost of your personal relationships. For years I watched Josh have no life outside of this building. Then you two finally consummated a great love, a love many of us could only hope for, Josh realizes he wants a life with you and suddenly, you’re not there. If I offended you when I compared you to Amy I’m sorry, but you need to realize something. You have become the job. Your focus seems to be how you can be a player. The leak you made shows that. Forgive me for saying but you’ve become so detached from people and emotions that you’ve forgotten how to have a life. You’re putting your relationship with Josh second, keeping him at arms length and that is a dangerous path to go down.”

Sam quietly got up, kissed her on the forehead and left her office.


	13. Ch 13

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: A lot of this chapter is told as a flashback. I hope you can tell where I change from present to past and back again.  
I  
Rating: PG 

Feedback: Always appreciated

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 13

Donna had no recollection of how she got home that evening. Her emotions were all over the place and as can so often happen, the hurt had given way to anger. By the time she put the key in the lock, she was spoiling for a fight.

Josh was in the kitchen busily employing the few cooking skills he possessed. He didn’t have a chance to speak before Donna started straight in.  
“What the hell is this? Care to explain?”  
He caught the fax as she threw it at him. Turning it over in his hand, he sharply inhaled. It certainly looked bad and his mind drifted back to a night last week…

“Hey, Donna. Let’s do something special this Wednesday night.”

“Why?

God, was he going to have to go through this again! That thought made him speak a little more sharply than necessary.

“Because I promised you a celebration for our six month anniversary since you cancelled on our last one.”  
Donna was a little taken aback by his tone. 

“Well I wouldn’t want you to do something just because you felt you should.”  
Josh paused to draw breath before beginning again.

“I have booked a table at the place you like in Georgetown, you know the one I mean. The place with the candles and the music and all that stuff you women like.” Coming out of the mouth of anyone else a woman could have been offended by that remark but Donna knew Josh well enough to know he was feeling uncertain of himself.

“That sounds lovely. Candles and music and stuff, way to win a girl Joshua.”

“So it’s a date?”

“Yes, it’s a date”

But as the day got closer, Donna worked longer hours, took more meetings and was wearing herself out. The evening of their “date” Josh went to pick her up from her office. She looked up as he came in.

“Josh, what are you doing here?”

“I came to pick you up. Isn’t that what I should do on a date. You haven’t changed?”

Donna looked blankly at him before realization dawned across her face.  
“Oh my God, Josh I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“You forgot! How could you forget?” He was only just managing to control his temper.

“I’ve been so busy and then I got tired and anything not related to work flew out of my mind.”

“So you’re telling me that this night, this anniversary we planned to celebrate because you put work first on our 3 month anniversary, slipped your mind because you can only remember work related matters.” He was shouting at this point.

“No, I mean yes, you know my work is important to me.”

“My work is important to me but I’m not using it for an excuse. I’m not hiding behind it to avoid being in a relationship. You are.”

With those words he stormed out, leaving a stunned Donna behind.

As he thundered through the corridors, people got out of his way. The look on his face didn’t encourage anyone to approach him. As he turned a corner he practically collided with Joey Lucas.  
“What’s your hurry?” she signed as Kenny interpreted.

“I just… I was… no hurry,” he stammered.

Joey had known Josh a long time. She could read him pretty well and knew he was in some kind of emotional pain.

“Joshua, what’s wrong?” Her own voice asked the question.  
He looked at her with weary eyes. He saw a friend and one of the few people he could trust. She would always tell it to him straight and not let him brood. 

“My dinner companion has pulled out. It’s a shame to let a good restaurant go to waste. Would you like to join me?”

“If that’s what you want. But a reservation for 2?” she looked pointedly at Kenny.

“Do you think we could do this without him? I mean I know he’s discreet and everything but can it just be us?”

”Well you know it makes things a little harder – you’ll have to remember to look at me when you speak.”

“Look at a beautiful woman? I think I can do that.”

Dinner had been just what Josh needed, no to be honest he needed to talk to someone and getting the female perspective was a bonus. As they ate Joey managed to draw out from Josh that not all was well between him and Donna. She was more than little surprised at this, as she had been a bystander to their pas-de-deux for years. In fact, she had long ago opened Josh’s eyes to the way Donna felt and she knew Josh had reciprocated. How could it all have gone so wrong?

“Tonight was supposed to be a celebration of our anniversary. She forgot about it. It wasn’t important to her and she totally forgot about our date.” Joey could see the disappointment in his face.”

Joey didn’t know what to say. Josh had once had a crush on her and she’d been very much aware that if you were on his radar, you would be on the receiving end of a very sweet natured man who had the capacity, if not the time, to make you his world. For Donna he’d found the time. Donna seemed to be shying away from that for unknown reasons.

“Josh, you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. I think Donna’s running scared – from what I’m not sure. Her life has changed dramatically in the past few years and you might need to help her navigate her way through. I’ve watched the two of you over the years and one thing I am certain of is how much you two belong together. You’re two pieces of a puzzle – you only fit with each other. Don’t give up, Josh.” 

As she reached across the table to comfortingly rest her hand on his, neither of them saw the flash or the photographer who mounted his motorcycle carrying his “exclusive” close to his chest.

Present

Josh looked at the photo then at Donna’s face. He could tell she was angry but so was he. This was it. They had to talk this out if they were going to survive.


	14. Ch 14

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: You need to imagine a lot of the dialogue in this chapter is actually shouting. I always said if ever there were two people who needed to be locked into a room to have a full on screaming fight, it was these two!

 

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Always appreciated

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 14

 

“You want to know what that picture is all about?” By now Josh was practically shouting. “It’s about one friend sympathizing with another over the fact that the relationship he wanted for more years than he cares to think about has gone to hell in a hand basket!” 

“What on earth are you talking about? 

“You really don’t see it do you? This…us… it isn’t working.”

“We’ve had some issues but I think we’re getting there”.

“Getting where? We’re struggling to get this together.”

“You know I want to be with you. We talked about this. I want this to work.”

“Then you’ve got some serious thinking to do because I’m not sure you’re in this for the long haul”.

“Of course, I’m in this.”

“Then show me,” he spat back. “I hardly see you unless we’re at work. You’ve broken the “no cell phones at home” rule more times than I care to remember. I struggle to get you to have a balance in your life, something I find ironic, me telling you to find balance. You squash any attempt to reminisce about anything from our past. I have photos of us in my office but you have none. Any time I try to arrange for anyone to come over, you tell me it’s not a good time.”

“That’s not fair. The one time I did that was just before the Easter egg roll”

“It was four weeks before! It’s not like I was trying to throw a party the night before it. It seems pretty obvious to me – you’re not here.”

“Don’t be ridiculous of course I’m here.”

“No Donna, you’re not. Oh yes, you willing give me access to your body but not much else. I want the whole package. I want to marry you, raise a family with you. I want to sit with you and watch our children grow. I’d like to be able to arrange it so that we draw our last breath together so that neither of us has to find out what it would be like to live with out the other. Because let me tell you having gone without you before, I never want to do that again. I never thought I’d want all that but I do as long as it’s with you.”

“I thought you liked strong, career minded women.”

“I do, but the woman I fell in love with sews her name into her underwear, gets her hand stuck in a mail box trying to retrieve letters to long forgotten tennis stars, worries about a bird tapping it’s beak against my window and can go toe to toe with a former president when it comes to trivia. She also happens to be strong and career minded as well. But the other stuff makes you “you”.

“So you want me to be someone who can play the fool? Who can be an object of ridicule in the eyes of her colleagues?”

”What? NO, The woman who did these things had the confidence to do them without caring what people thought of her. Where is that confidence now?

“Making me into the best CoS a First Lady’s office has ever seen.”

“And you’re doing great, but at what cost? I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not going anywhere. But I sometimes feel you’ve already left. I don’t think you love me enough to commit to this, long term. Not enough to put us first.”

Josh was so busy venting all that had been building up inside him for months, he hadn’t registered the shock in Donna’s eyes.

“You gave me a 4 week deadline to figure out what I wanted. For the record I didn’t need 4 weeks, I didn’t even need 4 minutes. I knew what I wanted. I just wasn’t too clear on how to achieve it. I guess I assumed that since you pushed me to define our relationship it meant you knew what you wanted. But I don’t think you had a clue.”

“What do you want me to say?” Donna whispered.

“I want you to decide if you want this relationship or if you want your career. You can easily have both but if you continue to give this same intensity to your work and ignore tending to our relationship, I can tell you now it won’t work. We’ll both be miserable. Now I think it might be best if you leave for awhile and when you’ve thought it through, we’ll talk.”

“You’re asking me to leave?” Donna couldn’t believe it had come to this.

“I think it’s for the best.” 

Josh sadly watched as Donna packed an overnight bag and without a backward glance, she walked out their door.


	15. Ch 15

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

 

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: I love your thoughts, comments and questions. Sometimes, I think feedback is better than chocolate…well at least as good!

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 15

The atmosphere in the West and East Wings was unnaturally subdued. Word had quickly spread that all was not right in the world of the “joint chiefs”. Hushed conversations and surreptitious glances from colleagues largely went unnoticed by Josh and Donna. They were both too caught up in the whirl of their respective emotions. Sam kept an eye on both of them. Donna, paler than usual, maintained an air of professionalism but the keen observer could see the dark circles under her eyes that no make up could conceal. Sam knew she had moved into a hotel. Josh was looking miserable. He rarely smiled and if he did, it never made it to his eyes. He too looked as though he wasn’t sleeping. He was throwing himself into his work, spending ridiculously long hours at his desk in an attempt to not have to think about how it had all gone so wrong.

It had been a week since Donna had moved out and they seemed to have reached a standoff. Sam knew someone needed to intervene and he also knew that someone had to be him. He couldn’t continue seeing his two dearest friends in such pain. He took a deep breath and entered Josh’s office.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Crazy. There seem to be a hundred and one things to do and everyone wants a piece of me.” Josh didn’t look up from what he was reading.

“Well, add me to the list. I want a piece of you too,” Sam said forcefully.

“What’s up?” Sam’s tone had gained Josh’s attention.

“You.” 

“What?” Josh was a little stunned by Sam’s direct approach.

“You. I want to know what going on with you and Donna,” Sam said.

Josh wearily rubbed his hands over his face. “Sam, I told you. Donna has moved out while she decides what she wants from this relationship, if anything.”

”I know what you told me and I still have trouble comprehending it. But what I want to know is what are you doing about it?”

”Nothing,” Josh said in a dead voice.

“So you’re just going to let her go?” Sam asked disbelievingly.

“Sam, what can I do? I’ve told her what I want. She is unclear about what she wants. I told her to go and think about it and talk to me when she’s done. She hasn’t mentioned it since so I’m assuming she’s still thinking.” Josh said impatiently

”I think you need to do something that let’s her know you haven’t closed your door to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s unsure if she’s welcome.

“She knows she’s welcome. Can we not talk about this any more?”

“Yeah, ok,” Sam shrugged. “But just one thing. A lot of your problems revolve around Donna putting her job first. Did she ever talk to you about her uncertainty as to her ability in the job?”

”I know she was worried she wasn’t experienced enough.”

“Well there was a bit more to it than that. She was struggling to understand how she was going to help shape the role of the First Lady when just over a year ago she was only your assistant.”

“Sam, you know as well as anyone, she was never “only” my assistant.”

“I know that, you know that and Donna in her more rational moments knows it too. It’s the perception of others she was worried about. She felt she had to work 10 times harder than everyone else to gain acceptance and respect.” Josh didn’t respond. 

“Some thing for you to think about buddy” Sam walked out of the office, gently closing the door behind him. His next mission was to find Donna. After some searching he found her in the Mess staring blankly into a cup of coffee.

“Mind if I join you?” Sam interrupted her reverie.

“Sam, of course not.” He noticed her too bright smile.

“How are you holding up?” he inquired.

“Not too well, to be honest,” Donna replied, not meeting his eyes.

”Anything I can do?”

“I don’t think so. I think it’s too late.” Her eyes welled up with tears and threatened to overflow.

“Have you talked to him?” Sam softly asked.

”How can I? He only wants to see me when I’ve sorted out what I want but I’m too confused and miserable to think clearly.”

“You kids need to talk, and soon”

“I can’t see that happening,” she sighed, resting her head in her hands.

“Donna, it’s really all very simple. Do you love him?”

”More than life itself,” came her simple and honest answer.

“Then all the rest is crap,” smiled Sam.

“I’ve still got stuff to think about,” Donna said quietly while looking at him through watery eyes.

“Think about it fast,” Sam began. “Talk to him. If ever there were two people who belong together, it’s you two. You guys simply don’t function fully with out being able to, metaphorically, hold each other’s hand on the journey. You truly are soul mates. Don’t shatter my romantic notions!” he joked as he left Donna to her now cold coffee.

Sam was frustrated with both of them. He wasn’t sure what result his conversations with them would have. He needed reinforcements. Time to bring in the big guns!

TBC


	16. Ch 16

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: As someone pointed out to me, the previous chapters showing Josh’s ability to be open about his feelings prove our boy has finally grown up! Now it’s Donna’s turn!

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: Always good, always appreciated. I’ll even beg for it…

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 16

Tuesday evening.

“Hey kid, how’s it going down there?” The familiar tones of Jed Bartlet greeted Josh as he answered his phone at home that night.

“Good Sir, how about you?”

“Good, good. Tell you what; it’s pretty quiet here. Too many women and not enough testosterone. How about you come up on Saturday for the weekend? We’ll do as men do.”

“What is it they do exactly, Sir?" Josh enquired with uncertainty in his voice.

“Smoke cigars, debate how to fix the world and mock those we choose to mock.”

“Sir, neither of us smokes cigars,” Josh pointed out.

“Ah. Yes well, we’ll leave that part out. So we’ll see you Saturday. Someone will contact you to make arrangements. See you then.” The line went dead. Josh smiled to himself. Even though he felt he’d just been railroaded in to weekend at the Bartlet’s farm, it was good to speak to someone from the old days. A weekend away might do him the world of good.

Wednesday afternoon

Donna’s assistant poked her head into her office.   
“Excuse me Donna, Mrs Bartlet is on the phone for you,”  
Donna was surprised but pleased to speak to the former First Lady.  
“Ma’am, nice to hear from you. How can I help you?”

“Donna, how are you? My spies tell me you’re doing great work.”

“Thank you Ma’am. Coming from you, that really means something.”

“I was calling to see if I could tempt you to come and visit this weekend? The girls left the other day and it’s just Jed and me roaming around in this house. I could do with some female company. Come up, we’ll open a bottle of wine and you can verbally kick my butt again. It’ll be like old times.”

Donna paused. Maybe some time away would be good.

“Ma’am that sounds wonderful.”

“Great. Someone will call with the arrangement. Can you get away Friday afternoon?”

Donna knew that Mrs Santos was attending Miranda’s school concert so she felt confident she could leave early.

“Yes, that’s fine. See you Friday.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Friday afternoon Donna arrived at the farm in Manchester to be wrapped in great bear hugs from both Bartlets. She almost choked on the sob that such a welcome induced. She felt she was back amongst family – a feeling that had been lacking in DC lately.

“Donnatella, come let me look at you.” President Bartlet appraised her with a critical and paternal eye. “You’re too thin and too pale. Abbey, we gotta feed this girl. I can’t have her fade away. Good clean county air and some home cooking is what you need. Always works with our girls.”  
Donna smiled at his determination to look after her.  
“Come on Donna. I’ll show you to your room. Dinner is at 7:00 and then I’m kicking Jed out so we can get in some quality girl time.”  
“Sounds good, Ma’am.”

Dinner passed quickly. Both Barlets wanted to know what was going on in Washington and in the lives of former colleagues. Donna was interested to hear how they were filling their time since returning to private life. Plans were underway for the Presidential library and Jed was fielding calls daily from publishing companies wanting to sign him up to write his memoirs. At the end of the meal Abbey discreetly gave Jed the signal that saw him excuse himself to his study. Many years of marriage saw their silent communication refined to a great art.  
“Ladies, I’m off to ponder great thoughts. I thought I might do a little reading on the wildlife of New England. Never know when information like that can come in handy,” President Bartlet left the room laughing at himself.

“Let’s open another bottle of wine. I’ll be like old times. “In vino veritas” and all that.”  
Abbey poured them both a glass of chardonnay and sat back on the couch. She knew there was only one way to do this and that was a surprise attack.

“How’s Josh?”  
The pained look on Donna’s face told a thousand stories.  
“He’s…um…busy” Donna finished lamely.  
Time for a more direct approach.  
“How are things between you and Josh?”  
Donna looked up into the caring face of Mrs Bartlet and burst into tears. Abbey stroked Donna’s back as she wept onto her shoulder. She murmured soothing words, words that Donna would probably not remember afterwards. After a few hiccoughing sobs, Donna began to quieten down.  
“I think I messed us up. I think it’s all over.”

“Donna, it can’t be that bad. Tell me what happened.”

So Donna filled her in on what the last few months had been like, the argument with Josh and his ultimatum that saw her move out of their apartment.

“Donna,” Mrs Bartlet began gently “If you love him, what’s the problem? You can’t doubt his love for you.”

“God, where do I begin?”

“Well, I hear the beginning is a very good place to start.”

“Ma’am are you quoting the Sound of Music to me?”

“Hm. Bet you didn’t know that’s one of my favourite movies?”

“The beginning…I guess I have to go back a few years.”

“Then go back, my dear. We’ve got all night.”

“I’ve loved Josh for so many years. You may be surprised to learn this but I knew I loved him after Rosslyn”.

“Donna, I think you’d be surprised to realize the number of people who were aware of your feelings.”

“See that’s part of the problem –CJ implied people looked upon me with pity as my feelings for Josh were so obvious and he didn’t reciprocate.”

“Reciprocate, my ass. He was totally smitten.”

“Well I know that now but I didn’t know it for sure then. Anyway, I made my whole life revolve around Josh. I did things that no other assistant did just so I could spend time with him and look after him. I did all these things while I lost a sense of who I was. I began to crave more responsibility. Josh tried, he really did. He got me to prepare him for meetings that someone at my level wouldn’t ordinarily do. He had me take meetings for him. He asked me to research things in order to brief CJ. But it wasn’t enough. I’d got lost. Then Josh sent me to Gaza…”

“That was a terrible time. Leo told me how Josh totally lost it. I think it was only then that Josh understood why Jed stood aside when Zoe was kidnapped. When someone you love is in danger, rational thought goes out the window.”

“Well, Gaza left me with a lot of emotional baggage. I survived. Great men died and I lived. I had to do something with my life, make it count. And being Josh’s assistant wasn’t enough anymore.”

“I know what you mean. There have been times when I felt my own career take a back seat and sometimes I resented it.”

“How did you manage?”

“By remembering what’s important.”

“And what’s that?”

”That’s something you have to decide for yourself.”

“Well you know a lot of the rest of the story. Me quitting, working for Russell, then joining the Santos campaign. Now I’m Mrs Santos’ chief of staff.”

“Are you enjoying the job?”

“Yes,” Abbey heard the uncertainty in her voice. “But, I feel horribly inexperienced and the pressure to get it right is enormous. I’ll be censured and condemned if there is a slip up. I’m putting my heart and soul into this job. But I think I’ve got lost again. I think I’ve lost Josh.”

 

“You haven’t lost him. Josh loves you and has for many years. In so many ways you two have been in a relationship for years. You don’t need to date now. But what you never had was the excitement of the first few months of a relationship. Where you want to be together all the time, you are forever touching each other; you glow from the euphoria of being in love. That was denied to you. You’re making up for lost time. I imagine you find it a little overwhelming!”

“I know it sounds awful, but sometimes I think it’s too much too soon. Don’t get me wrong. I’m enjoying being in love. Every time he touches me I tingle! But trying to learn my job and navigate a relationship is exhausting. I’m happy to just  
come home, have dinner, talk about my day and fall asleep together,” Donna found herself confessing.

“In my opinion, it sounds as though compromise is the answer. Enjoy the first bloom of love. It doesn’t last. Where you two have been for so long is closer to reality. Knowing each other, supporting each other, being comfortable with each other to communicate without words.”

“Donna, you need to tell Josh all of this. He needs to understand. If I know Josh, he is somehow thinking it’s all his fault, that he’s done something that has made you throw yourself into your work. You need to reassure him and then let him help you. Hell froze over and Josh got a life! Who’d have thought it!”


	17. Ch 17

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: One more chapter to go and then an epilogue.

Rating: PG13 

 

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

Ch 17

The early sunrise woke Donna from a restless sleep. The talk with Abbey had helped her enormously. She was seeing things a bit clearer and even though she had a lot more thinking to do, today was the first day in weeks she felt able to put her mind to her problems.

She went downstairs and opened the door. Nodding to the agent, she descended the stairs and started on a walk. Maybe a bit of time, breathing the fresh country air and looking at the magnificent scenery would help her on her way to facing her demons. After an hour or so she made her way back to the house.

“Donna, come join us for breakfast. We’re having pancakes!”

”And the syrup sir?” Donna teased.

“New England syrup, Donna. There is no other kind allowed in this house. You look a little more peaceful this morning, but still need a rest and fattening up,” Bartlett’s quick change of topic would do Donna proud.

“Thank you Sir, I think. I had a good heart to heart with your wife. She’s a good listener.”

“I’m glad she could help. C’mon. Breakfast is getting cold.”

Donna indulged in doing nothing for a few hours. She sat on the front porch, reading magazines, listening to her iPod and staring aimlessly into space, allowing her mind to process what it was she wanted from her relationship. Her eyes suddenly focused on a car entering the drive. It pulled up and Donna looked on in a combination of joy, embarrassment and horror. Josh alighted from the car and as he locked eyes with her, she saw him stumble. He quickly regrouped but it was obvious he was as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

“I think we’ve been set up,” he said as he climbed the front steps.

Before Donna had time to respond, the Bartlets swept outside and gathered Josh into a hug.

“Josh, you look as terrible as Donna,” Abbey said in her typically blunt manner.

“You know, I never tire of people telling me that,” Josh dryly responded.

“C’mon inside kid. It’s good to see you. You’re just in time for lunch,” Bartlett looked at is former deputy with a critical eye. “But you need a rest too. If you can both do that here, our work is done!”

“Can I ask…how did you know…?” Josh stumbled through his questions

“Josh, Donna you have a true friend who is looking out for both of you. We all love you and want you to be happy. But someone thought you needed a push.”

Turning to each other they said in unison “Sam.”

They all went inside where one couple sat uncomfortably and the other quietly observed them. When lunch was finished the Bartlets discreetly removed themselves leaving Josh and Donna sitting in awkward silence.

“This is weird. There haven’t been too many occasions when we haven’t got something to say,” Josh attempted to break the ice.

Donna smiled at him “I’ve been doing some thinking. There’s a lot I need to say.”

Josh looked at her unsure of himself but her smile encouraged him. “There’s a lot I have to say too. ”

“This relationship stuff isn’t easy.”

“No, it isn’t and our beginning was less than encouraging. I just can’t get a handle on things. When we finally “came on board”, you reacted to me in a way that totally confused me. You were emotionally detached, 100% focused on the day’s events.”

“Well what about you? I was expecting you to be “you’ and suddenly your Mr In-touch-with-his-sensitive-side. Talk about confusing. I didn’t know how to deal with this version of you.”

“But you came back for more! Let me tell you – that assertive side to you – very hot!” he smirked. His tone was suddenly serious. “ Then Leo…You were there, listening, being a shoulder to cry on.” Josh’s voice trailed off still laced with the pain of their recent loss. “Anyway, we’ve talked all this out before. After you moved in, things were great. We were great. We made time for our relationship. But then things changed. You reverted to being all Ms Business - Like and left me wondering where “we’ had gone.”

Josh continued.” You once told me you had to learn to keep things at arms distance. I gotta say there are times when I’ve felt like one of those things.”

Donna gasped at Josh’s confession. “I’m so sorry, really I am. I don’t want to push you away. But I was frightened to let you in, emotionally.”

“Frightened? Why?”

“I was frightened that if I let you in, looked after you, thought with my heart instead of my head, I’d go back to being the person who put her own needs and wants second to yours.”

Josh smiled. “I know I’m pretty high maintenance but I’d never expect you to do anything that meant you lost sight of your own worth.”

Donna was touched. “I’ve worked hard since I stopped being your assistant to be my own person, carve my own path. People see me now as Donna Moss, political operative, not just as someone’s assistant. I’m listened to, my opinion is sought. And I like it. But if it means that I lose you, then I don’t want it. I might not have shown it very much lately but you are the most important thing to me. Our argument scared the hell out of me. What if I lost you?”

“Wasn’t going to happen.”

“Maybe not but you’d have been miserable and knowing I was responsible would have destroyed me.”

“You know what they say. ‘I’d rather be miserable with you than without you’”. Josh smiled as he said this.

By now they were both sitting on the sofa but not touching. Each knew, that once they made contact, conversation would be over and this was too important.  
Donna’s eyes were downcast. “Sam gave me a good talking to. Do you know the thing he said that disturbed me the most? He said I was getting to be like Amy. He said that I’d become the job.” Donna looked up at Josh and he could see the panic in her eyes. “I don’t want to be manipulative. I don’t want to use people. I don’t want our relationship to be sullied by us being called power daters. I don’t want you to look at me and see Amy.”

Josh couldn’t help himself. He reached out to take her hand in his. He thumb gently caressed her hand as he softly said “I never see Amy when I look at you. I see you, an amazing woman who is kind and caring but maybe needs a little help to unlock those qualities she has hidden.”

Donna’s silence encouraged him to continue. “ I see a woman who is sensitive to the plight of others and works towards making things better. I see a woman who challenges me to be the best man I can be. I see a woman who has stood by me in good times and bad. Her loyalty and steadfastness moves me more than you know. Remember when I was pulled off the China trip? CJ told me later how you defended me to her – even though I wasn’t your favourite person at the time.”

Donna looked up into eyes that were regarding her carefully. She could see a mix of love and hurt in them. She wanted to say something to reassure him.  
“ You don’t know about the times when I was working for Russell that Will tried to get me to betray you. He wanted to know how you would react in certain situations. I never gave you up, not once!” her voice getting stronger as she finished speaking. She hesitatingly reached out to caress his cheek.

Donna took a deep breath and continued. “ I’ve been reminded about what’s important and I’m going to re structure things. I’ve spoken to Mrs Santos and we’ve come up with a plan. I’m going to job share the CoS position. There’s a woman in Houston who used to work in the President’s office when he was Mayor. She assisted Mrs Santos in her role as the First Lady of Houston. They like and respect each other. What makes it perfect is this woman’s husband has just been transferred to DC and she’s looking for work. I’ll be working 3 days a week.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want? I don’t want to be the guy who pressures his partner to give up her career in order to spend time with him! I want you to do what you want to do.”

“This is what I want. I’ll have my career, just downsized a little. I’ll still be doing what I love.”

Josh knew some fences had been repaired but for once was relationship savvy and knew there was still a way to go before they could be “them” again.

“But there are still a few things we need to talk about. We have to confront some issues and there are some things I have to say.”

TBC


	18. Ch 18

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: This has been a real labour of love for me – I’ve invested a lot in this story. Thanks for coming on the journey and trusting me to not rip our favourite couple apart! Thanks also to my beta. 

A/N: I really struggled with this chapter and the previous one, to make it seem plausible. I can’t help but feel I didn’t do a great job of explaining Donna’s issues in an original way or making her seem weak. Still, these were issues never addressed in the final season and I thought they needed to be!

Rating: PG13 

Feedback: This may be your last chance – if you’ve been waiting for the end, don’t be shy. I’d love to know what you thought.

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Ch 18

Josh continued on with what was potentially the most important conversation he’d ever had. “There’s something that has been bothering me for awhile now. Why is it that whenever I mention something from our past, you shut down any discussion? Why? We go back nearly 10 years. Why am I sometimes left feeling that I’m in a relationship with a woman who looks like the Donna I’ve known for years and shares her name but has none of our memories?”

“I know it’s hard for you to understand but I was scared. Scared that if I allowed us to remember that Donna, I’d slip back into being her.”

“But people who have a shared history should be able to remember the good times and the bad times. And we did have good times. Remember Bartlet’s second Inauguration Ball? The lunches we shared? Your save on Social Security? The Stackhouse Filibuster? The time I wanted to put you on a stamp because the qualities you were describing were exactly how I felt about you?” Donna felt herself weakening. “These are things we can laugh about and celebrate. Things that mean we go back a long way. Remembering them doesn’t mean you go back to the person you were, it means you embrace them. Can you let me? Can you acknowledge we have a past, warts and all? These things make us who we are.”

Donna listened to his impassioned speech. She recalled with shame a time she had told Will that her desk in the bullpen held no nostalgia for her. Maybe it held no nostalgia for her in some ways but in many others it was representative of her life journey and there were many good times to remember.

“I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to tell you all of this,” Josh said quietly.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Donna queried.

“I was afraid to push it.”

“Why?” Donna was amazed he’d bottled this up for so long.

“I was scared that if I asked you for something you couldn’t give, you’d leave.”

There it was folks, the elephant in the corner!

“You’ve left me twice before. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to feel you might do it again,” his voice got louder as he continued to release his biggest fear. “ The first time wasn’t so bad. We hadn’t known each other too long but you’d already proven yourself invaluable. But the second time…” By now Josh’s voice was bearing all the pain of that time. “You just quit, in the middle of the bullpen. No privacy, no 2 weeks notice, nothing. You ripped my heart out and publicly jumped on it.”

“Me? What about you? You avoided any conversation about my job. You went into denial mode over your feelings for me when I got back from Germany. Do you remember what I said? I said ‘I want more and it’s not happening’. I wasn’t just talking about my job, you know.”

Josh tried to lower the volume of his voice but it was difficult. “I avoided talking to you because I sensed things were changing and there was nothing I could do about it except try to ignore it. But then you committed the ultimate betrayal – you left. I’ve struggled to forgive you for that.” 

Donna looked at him through tear-filled eyes. They had discussed this on their holiday but Donna was only now getting a sense of what she’d done. She’d been so focused on blaming Josh, she lost sight of what she’d done to him. He was as broken and hurt as she had been.

“Why didn’t you call?” she asked.

“Why would I? What encouragement did I have to believe you wanted to see or speak to me? You told me I was irritating! That’s not the sort of thing a girl says to a guy to let him know his attentions are welcome.”

“No, I suppose not. I had to try and slip you my room key to get that message across.” Josh looked at her as she recalled that time in their lives. “I’m not leaving you.”

“I want to believe that, but how do I know for sure?”

“Well, that’s easy. If I’m married to you, that’s about as big a guarantee you can get.”

Josh, stunned, just gaped at her. 

“What are you saying?”

“I’m asking you to marry me.” Donna smiled at this man who meant everything to her.

“I don’t want to go all macho here but isn’t that something I’m supposed to ask?”

“When have we ever been traditional?”

“True”

“So, what do you say?”

”I say ‘Yes’” 

At that moment Donna could no longer control herself. She had caused Josh so much pain and uncertainty in the last few months and now she wanted to do nothing more than kiss it all better. She launched herself at him, finding herself caught in his strong arms. The force of her impact saw Josh fall backwards on the sofa, bearing her weight on top of him. Their lips met in an explosion of pent up passion. But it soon turned to something gentler, slower as they savoured each other. It was only when Donna’s moans brought Josh back to reality that they realised they were close to having sex in the Barlets living room! They slowly pulled back and looked at each other, Josh smoothing Donna’s hair back. By now Donna had straddled Josh’s hips and he was unable to hide his desire for her. Somehow, his shirt had come undone and her t-shirt had been removed. They both laughed at the potentially embarrassing situation they found themselves in.

“God, I hope they didn’t hear me,” Donna said as she put her t shirt back on.

“Maybe we should relocate?” Josh asked.

“Race you,” Donna challenged.

At that she pushed herself of him and ran for the door. Josh was close behind her. As they took off up the stairs, Jed and Abbey emerged from another room.

“They seem to have resolved their differences. Do you think they’re going to be ok?” Jed asked.

“I’m certain of it.” Abbey replied knowingly. 

TBC – there will be an epilogue!!


	19. Epilogue

Timeline: “The Santos administration”

A/N: This really is just a “and they lived happily ever after” piece. But after some of the angst, I think they (and we) deserve it!

Rating: PG 

Feedback: Always appreciated. If you liked this, let me know!

Disclaimers: Said it all in Chapter 1

 

Epilogue

18 months later, election night.

The West Wing erupted in cheers as the television anchor called the results of the mid-term elections. The Democrats now had control of both Houses and the champagne corks were popping. Just as she had done 2 years ago, Donna made her way to Josh’s side to be enveloped in one of his legendary hugs. The difference this time was the difficulty Josh had in getting close enough to embrace his wife. Donna was now 6 months pregnant with their first child and although she carried it well, there was no getting away from the fact that wrapping his arms around her was a challenge. Did I say challenge? Yep, Josh manoeuvred himself a little to the side and found he could give her a hug that satisfied them both!

“You did it,” Donna whispered in his ear.  
Josh beamed. “Well I had help,” he replied as he looked over at Sam who had taken on the job of co-ordinating the mid-term campaigns. Josh hadn’t wanted to take on the crazy lifestyle needed to be involved in the fight to win both Houses but had made himself available as a consultant. His life and priorities were different these days. He and Donna had been married nearly a year now and the memory was fresh in both their minds. It had been a small and intimate ceremony attended by only 30 close friends and family. Since Donna had ruined both their 3 month and 6 month anniversary, she chose to make it up to Josh by having the wedding on their 12 month anniversary. Most of the organising had fallen onto Donna as Josh was like many men and not too interested in the finer details! He was happy for her to arrange anything she wanted but there was one issue on which they disagreed – his wearing a wedding ring. He’d argued his father hadn’t worn one, he didn’t want to wear one and not every man chose to wear one. Donna liked the idea of him wearing one, mainly as the signal it gave to others – stay away, this one’s mine! In the end, she realised they were high profile enough for the message to get out that this bachelor was off the market!

Donna had come a long way since the tough times in their relationship. Working part time had been an ideal solution. She rarely became too involved in her work but if she did, Josh (or Sam!) was there to gently remind her of the important things in life! Of course they both experienced busy periods but they always made time for each other. 

President Santos made his way over to Josh. 

“You know it goes without saying that I want you to continue on as my chief of staff.”

“I’m honoured sir and it has been a privilege to serve you but...”  
Santos interrupted “You want to serve elsewhere.”

“I do. Our baby will be born in 3 months and I want to be around. I want to stay home for awhile and enjoy being a dad. I’ve had offers to start a firm of consultants and that might be something I want to do. I’ve also been approached to write my memoirs. I’m really not sure what I’ll be doing but I know Donna and the baby come first. I’m going to recommend Sam be promoted to Chief of Staff.

“I understand totally. Once you hold that child in your arms, everything fades into the background. This will be the most important job you do and I speak from experience – it’ll be the job you love most. We’ll talk later.”  
Donna had been observing from a distance and as the President moved on to celebrate with others, she made her way back to Josh’s side.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I told him.”

“He’s a father. He’ll respect your decision.”

“Have you spoken with Mrs Santos?”

“I did it earlier today. She knows I won’t be returning after my maternity leave is up.”

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

“I thought I might go back to college and get my degree. I’d want to do it part time. If I apply for recognition for my experience it should only take a few years. Then maybe I could join your firm?"

“We’d be working together again. Think you could handle it?”

“Josh, I could always handle it.”

“Can I take you home and show you my appreciation for you handling things so well?”

“You don’t need to take me home Joshua. When I’m with you I am home.”

As they walked out of the White House that evening, they knew the next phase of their lives was beginning.


End file.
